Cause I'm A Blonde
by TacticianZephine
Summary: Totally insane randomness. Sixteen-year-old Narcissa Black contemplates her hair color. She swears ONCE, I promise.


**Okay, I have no idea how this ties into a story, but I guess Narcissa's contemplating the "curse" of being blonde? (I _don't_ actually think that blonde people are stupid, really, I don't. Blond boys, in my experience, can be jerks, though.) This is just a stereotype.**

**I just saw this song, and thought "SONGFIC!"**

**I don't own Harry Potter, or the song "'Cause I'm A Blonde". Those belong to JK Rowling and Julie Brown.**

**So, enjoy the random insanity if you can! R&R!**

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_Because I'm a blonde, I don't have to think.  
I talk like a baby, and I never pay for drinks.  
Don't have to worry 'bout getting a man  
If I keep this blonde and I keep these tan,  
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah.  
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah._

Narcissa palmed her forehead as she saw a group of girls with hair like hers, sitting by the lake, heckling girls who passed and "grading" guys. WHAT everyone was doing outside in the middle of winter was BEYOND her, but she just walked by in her weekend clothes: jeans, a black turtleneck, combat boot-looking snowboots, and a Slytherin scarf and mittens.

"Jesus, Black, what are you, goth? Bit ironic, isn't it?"

_I see people workin', it just makes me giggle  
'Cause I don't have to work; I just have to jiggle.  
I'm a blonde, B-L-O-N-D.  
I'm a blonde; don't you wish you were me?_

"Hey, Cissy! I got a good one for you! How do you drown a blonde?"

Narcissa didn't turn. _Ignore her, ignore her, ignore her..._ she chanted in her head. She wasn't speaking to her sister. And she certainly didn't need to hear the punchline of that joke.

_Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool, my ass. NO ONE is THAT stupid_, the rich girl thought bitterly.

"Hey, stupid! I'm talking to you!"

_I never learned to read, and I never learned to cook.  
Why should I bother when I look like I look?  
I know lots of people are smarter than me,  
But I have this philosophy:  
So what?_

Why were blondes always seen as the stupid girls? Why couldn't it be brunettes, or redheads? Or the girls with black hair, who didn't even have a technical "designation".

_'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah.  
I see girls without dates, and I feel so sorry for 'em,  
'Cause whenever I'm around, all the men ignore 'em,  
'Cause I'm a blonde, nyah, nyah, nyah.  
'Cause I'm a blonde, nyah, nyah, nyah._

Well, she DID have the choice of any guy on campus...but she had locked her sights on a certain special Slytherin.

And he was sitting on a rock, talking to his friends.

_They say that to make it, you need talent and ambition.  
Well, I got a TV show, and this was my audition:  
Umm ... okay ... what was it? ... umm ...  
Don't tell me ... Oh, yeah, okay.  
"Duck, Magnum, duck!"  
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah.  
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah._

It wasn't like Narcissa Black was ugly, or even stupid. If you asked any boy or girl, she was gorgeous. Ask any teacher, and she was brilliant. Contrary to the meaning of her name, however, she didn't think she was all that special.

_I took an IQ test, and I flunked it of course.  
I can't spell VW, but I gotta Porsche,  
'Cause I'm blonde, B-L-I-N-D.  
'Cause I'm a blonde; don't you wish you were me?_

"Hey, Sexy!" a Gryffindor boy catcalled. "Oi, Blondie, I'm talking to you!"

Narcissa kept her head down and kept walking, eyes locked on the elm wand with the silver snake's head handle in her target's hand.

_I just want to say that being chosen this month's Miss August  
Is, like, a compliment that I'll remember for as long as I can.  
Right now I'm a freshman in my fourth year at UCLA,  
But, my goal is to become a veterinarian 'cause I love children!_

A snowball connected with her head.

_'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah.  
'Cause were a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah._

"All right, that's it. I'm gonna hit you so hard--" She turned, ready to punch the sucker who'd thrown it, only to find herself face-to-face with Lucius Malfoy.

_Girls think I'm snotty, and maybe it's true.  
With my hair and body, you would be too.  
I'm a blonde, B-L- ... I don't know!  
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah.  
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah.  
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah!_

"Oh, hi."

Lucius chuckled. "Cissa, you're such a blonde."

_Thud!_

The Slytherin prefect was on his back in a snowdrift, and the blonde girl was walking away.


End file.
